


Written in the Pages of Our Lives

by esoteric_criterion



Category: Banana Bus Squad, VanossGaming (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friendship, Gaming, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-04-10 14:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4396307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esoteric_criterion/pseuds/esoteric_criterion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonathan starts to feel unappreciated; both as a gamer and as a friend. Of course, it doesn't go unnoticed by certain people. He and Evan eventually end up making plans to meet up for the first time. Jonathan's extremely nervous, and Evan's really excited. When Jonathan finally flies to LA to spend a week with Evan, they start to discover new things about themselves that they never knew existed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Something a little different. This is my first story in this fandom. :)
> 
> Huge thanks to AnonymousCommentator for helping me write this and for throwing out a plot bunny. You're the best, luv!

Jonathan sat back heavily in his chair, a look of hurt and disbelief flashing across his face. He stared blankly at the fluorescent screen that lit up his face in the fading daylight.

Comment after comment after comment; all saying about the same exact thing. The same exact meaning.

People _hated_ his new mic. He'd gone out and bought a brand new one just because people were complaining about the way his old one sounded. And now they were complaining again, but for an entirely different reason.

The new one he'd bought was a state-of-the-art, extremely expensive piece of equipment. It made him sound a lot clearer and more detailed. His voice was as clear as day through the mic.

But everyone hated it. They constantly complained about how much different he sounded with it. Some even went as far as to add vulgar choice words.

So, rather, they didn't dislike his _new mic_ necessarily. They didn't like how his _actual_ voice sounded. The old shitty mic had masked his voice a lot, but the new one showed everyone just how much different his real voice was.

He'd actually _dropped_ subscribers in the past two weeks he'd used the new mic, too. Probably about a hundred people cancelled their subscription to his channel. A _hundred_ people in _two weeks_. And the number was still dropping, little at a time.

He honestly felt hurt. Did his subscribers really not like the way his voice really sounded?

Even worse, his friends were in on it too.

The guys started acting weird around him after he got the new mic. They invited him to play with them less, and they would pester him about how much of a change it was. And when he _was_ playing something with them, they'd often ignore him when he talked. That or their jokes would become more harsher towards him.

Jonathan slammed his laptop shut and pushed away from the desk. He stood up, rubbing his dry eyes, and headed downstairs. He glanced over at his grandfather clock positioned on the far wall directly across from the bottom of the steps. **_8:53_** it read. He still had a lot of time to kill before he was able to actually fall asleep. And he hadn't eaten anything since noon.

Jonathan made a bee-line straight for the refrigerator. He was starving. He dug around in the shelves for food, eventually deciding on a slice of leftover pizza and a can of soda. He popped the pizza in the microwave and sipped on his soda as he waited.

As he took his dinner out of the microwave, he heard the familiar click of nails on linoleum tiles. He turned around, pizza in hand, to find his brown Pitbull Terrier staring up at him with wide eyes.

"I'm guessing you want some of my food." Jonathan chuckled, heading into his living room. The dog trailed behind him.

He sank down onto his couch, the dog jumping up next to him. He smiled in amusement as the dog just sat and eyed his food patiently. "Sorry, Tucker. This stuff isn't for you."

The Pitbull Terrier whined in response, squirming on the couch impatiently. He licked his lips eagerly and tilted his head adorably to the left.

Jonathan laughed at him and peeled off a small circular pepperoni slice from the pizza. "Fine, fine. Just one little piece. No more." He fed it to the dog, who swallowed it in one big gulp.

Jonathan rolled his eyes and flicked the TV on. He stopped channel surfing at FX, where _The Expendables_ was currently playing. He leaned back comfortably and ate his pizza in peace, Tucker still at his side.

Right as he finished his last bite, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He wiped his hands off on his jeans and took it out.

It was a text from Evan. _Hey, Delirious. Mini, Tyler, Nogla, Brock and I are thinking of playing some Gmod Scary Maps in 30 mins. You up to join?_

Jonathan found his fingers typing in a response before his brain fully caught up with him. _Sorry, can't. I'm busy_. He clicked send and froze immediately afterwards.

This was the first time he'd actually said no to playing with the guys.

Of course, he'd go AFK a lot to just get a break, but he'd always come back to the keyboard just to play with them when they asked. He'd never actually _denied_ going online for some game-time.

Jonathan sighed and drew his knees up to his chin. He wished he could just sink into the seat cushions of the couch; disappear forever. He shouldn't let this bother him as much as it was now. It wasn't that big of a deal.

_Right?_

 

 

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

 

Evan frowned at Delirious' reply. It wasn't like him to decline playing with the guys. And the _I'm busy stuff_ , that's a load of bull. He knew Delirious better than any of the other guys, except for Luke.

Delirious didn't have much of a life outside of YouTube. He didn't go to college, didn't have a job, and didn't have many friends at his hometown. He almost never left his house, and hardly anyone ever came over to visit.

So something was _obviously_ wrong. Was he mad at one of the guys? Did they do something to get him upset?

Evan texted him back. _You okay?_

Delirious took a while to reply. Which was unusual, to say the least. He always texted back immediately after Evan sent his text. The man practically _lived_ on his phone.

Something was _definitely_ wrong. And all that he got in response was just a simple _Yeah_.

Evan's fingers flew over the letters as he thumbed in exactly what he thought. Delirious wasn't getting off the hook that easily. _Fucking liar. Now I'm going to call you, and you're gonna tell me what the fuck is bothering you. And call him he did._

Delirious picked up on the third ring. For a moment, it was silent. "Well?" Evan started. "I'm waiting."

He listened as Delirious sucked in huge gulp of air. " _Why do you like me?_ " He asked quietly.

Evan was taken aback by the question. "What?"

" _Why do you guys choose to hang out with me? Of all the other gamers in the world....why me?_ "

Evan took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. "We like you for _you_. Your personality is just so unique that we can't help but gravitate towards it. You're so enthusiastic and funny, and you just fit in so easily with us. You're a bit insane at times but we deal with it because we all secretly like how crazy you can get. You're a mystery that nobody can solve and it makes us keep coming back for more. We like you for who you are, Delirious. Now tell me what this is all about. You're kinda scaring me, man."

And just like that, Delirious was spilling all of his thoughts through the phone. He told Evan how he noticed how everyone treated him after he got the new mic and how rejected he feels. He told him about all the comments on his videos, and the way his number of subscribers dropped dramatically. He also shared his fears about meeting everyone in person, and how they might not like him. He was scared that they might not like his appearance.

Evan stayed silent. He didn't know how to respond. Was this what really what Delirious was all bent out of shape about?

It was stupid, really. The guys didn't care what each other looked like. They just liked one another because they fit together like some rag-tag family.

"We need to meet up." Evan demanded. "Just you and me. I need to show you just how little you have to worry about. You need to get over your fears and I'm going to help you. Now, you have two choices. Either you're flying across the goddamn country or I'm going to show up on your fucking doorstep. Your choice."

The line was quiet again, and Evan swore that he could practically hear Delirious thinking. The only sound was the steady breathing drifting into his ear. " _Can I bring Tucker with me?_ " He said at last, his voice slightly strained and apprehensive.

Evan broke into a huge grin. Delirious was coming to see him. He never actually thought that Delirious would _agree_.

"Sure, man. As long as he doesn't shed all over my house." He said it partially jokingly. Evan loved dogs, so why not. From what Delirious had told him, Tucker was a pretty well-behaved dog.

Delirious let out a small tightened laugh. _"He's a Pitbull Terrier, Evan. He doesn't have that much fur."_

"I know." Evan chuckled along with him. "When do you want to come?"

" _Uhh....I can catch a flight in two days, I guess. It'll give me enough time to pack, and I can get Luke to watch the house for me."_

"Sweet. I'll pick you up from the airport when you land."

" _Alright._ " Evan detected the slight waver in his tone.

"Don't sound so nervous, man. I bet you look pretty good looking in person."

Delirious instantly went back to himself, laughing maniacally as if Evan had just told the funniest joje in the universe. " _Oh, I look fucking hot."_

Evan laughed along with him and grinned devilishly. "Oh really now? On a scale of one to ten, what would you rate yourself on looks? Be honest."

_"Uh, seven and a half? Fuck, I don't know."_

"I'll be the judge of that. How will I know it's you? Do I just stand there and wait for someone to randomly come up to me? Knowing you, you'd probably make a game out of it and fucking troll me."

" _You know me so well_." Delirious laughed again. He was probably picturing exactly how he was going to troll Evan. " _But I guess I can wear something to make to make me stand out."_

"I got an idea. Just wear a neon orange T-shirt and find a pair of those ugly-ass yellow Nike shorts. You'll stand out like a fucking beacon."

 _"Ew, no."_ Delirious giggled, his breath ghosting through the phone. _"You have absolutely no taste in clothing. How about....uh....just look for someone wearing a VanossGaming T-shirt and a baseball cap with a Northern Guilford High School Nighthawks emblem on it."_

Evan raised an eyebrow. Delirious bought one of his T-shirts? When had this happened? "Okay, man. See you then. Text me when your flight takes off."

_"Alright. See you in two days, I guess."_

"I'll be awaiting your gracious presence, sir." Evan said in a fake British accent. It was _extremely_ terrible, but he didn't care.

 _"And I'll be running the other fucking way if you ever talk like that again_." Delirious said jokingly. He laughed one last time before hanging up.

Evan shook his head with a smile still lingering on his face. He locked his phone and threw it to the other side of his couch. He still had twenty minutes to kill. Wasn't _The Expendables_ playing on FX tonight?

He briefly wondered if maybe Delirious was watching it too.

 

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

 

It wasn't until the the next morning when the realization finally sunk it. Jonathan laid in bed minutes after awakening, letting the full effect of last night's conversation wash over him.

What the fuck was he doing? He couldn't fly to LA. There was no way in _hell_ he'd get on that plane. He couldn't meet Evan.

But it was too late to back out now. If he didn't go see Evan, he'd have to move to fucking Finland. Evan had his address from mailing him a birthday present last summer. He would just do exactly what he said he would do and suddenly show up at his house.

Jonathan had no other choice but to go through with this. And if any of his friends were to be the most accepting, it had to be Evan. Evan was always so down-to-earth and calm about everything. It was just part of what made him _him_.

Jonathan rolled out of bed with a sigh. He trudged down the hallway to where the bathroom was and peeked at himself in the mirror.

_I bet you look pretty good-looking in person._

Jonathan grinned. Evan wasn't exactly wrong. He'd been told multiple times by various people that he looked hot.

His bright blue eyes were still glossy from his slumber; his short chestnut hair in a state of disarray. The freckles spattered across his cheeks stood out against his flushed skin. He flicked his tongue nervously over his dry, pink lips.

What if Evan didn't like the way he looked? Would he send him straight back to where he came from?

Jonathan scoffed. He was worrying over nothing. Evan liked him for who he was _inside_. He probably wouldn't give two shits if Jonathan was an ugly motherfucker.

For now, he could quit his fussing. He had bags to pack and a trip to prepare for.


	2. The Longest Flight

Jonathan's flight left at 8:00 am on a Friday morning.

He'd booked the flight the morning before, one-way only for now. He could book another flight home when he was ready to leave.

Did Evan even say how long he'd be there?

He'd also asked Luke to watch over the house while he was gone. Honestly, there wasn't much to watch. Luke just needed to make sure there wasn't a fire or break-in while he was gone. He'd shut off the electricity and water lines just as precautionary.

Once he made sure he was ready, he waited for Luke to pull into the driveway and take him to the airport. The airport was about an hour away, so Jonathan made sure that they left around 6:30 am sharp.

When they arrived, Luke helped him drag his luggage and Tucker into the airport before bidding him farewell. "Text me, motherfucker." Luke gave him an affectionate nudge. "I'll be expecting updates."

And then Jonathan was left alone.

He sighed and dragged his leftover luggage to to the drop-off. He kneeled before Tucker's crate and stuck his fingers through the bars. "You be good, okay? I'll see you when we land." Tucker whimpered, licking his fingers. He gazed up at Jonathan with wide, sad eyes. Who could say no to that sweet face?

Certainly not Jonathan.

Jonathan chuckled and dug through the bag he kept for when he traveled with Tucker. "Here you go, buddy." He pulled out the dog's favorite toy; a stuffed teddy bear.

Tucker's ears immediately perked up. He wagged his whole back end in excitement, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. He waited patiently as Jonathan threw the toy in the cage and immediately took it into his mouth.

Jonathan patted the crate one last time before standing back up. He left his bags and Tucker to a service man and waited patiently to board his plane.

Only a couple more hours to go.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

The flight was not a straight flight. He'd had to make two connections so far. Right now, he was on his third and final airplane.

The plane was packed, too. Not a seat was left empty. Of course, that much would be expected. LA was a hotspot for _everyone_.

Jonathan looked around at his fellow passengers. There was a mom and her teenage daughter; a businessman dressed in a tux; an elderly couple looking prepared for a cruise; a husband and his wife and their two young sons. Everyone was busy doing something. Texting, sleeping, reading; nobody was really interacting.

He turned to face the window with a sigh. He stared at the white clouds that spotted the atmosphere below them and leaned his head against the window.

This was going to be an agonizingly long flight.

He'd already slept through his first two flights. Now, he was wide awake.

With absolutely nothing to do.

He didn't want to use up the battery on his phone, and other than that he didn't have anything with him. No books, no nothing.

He didn't want to talk to Evan, either. He was too anxious about their meeting that he thought he might throw up. Calling him would just make him feel worse.

God, he was so nervous.

Jonathan started when someone suddenly spoke right next to him. "You meeting someone for the first time?"

He turned to find the man that was originally reading next to him was studying him with kind brown eyes. "How'd you know?"

The man smiled knowingly. "It's in your body language, kid. You're as skittish as an adopted kitten in a new home. I know the look all too well."

"Oh?"

"I was meeting my half-brother for the first time. We'd been texting, calling, Skyping each other for years, but never once met in person. One day, he invited me to come visit. I was just like you are; thought I might actually back out when I was almost there. I went through with it, though. And it was absolutely worth it. My brother and I are closer than we were before. You'll be fine, kid. Chances are that whoever you're meeting already likes you too much to push you away."

Jonathan just absorbed the story. The guy had a point, but it only calmed his nerves just a little bit. "I'm meeting my best friend. We met through gaming; we're both YouTubers to be more specific. We know each other really well, and we're closer than any of the other people we game with. But, the thing is, he's never seen my face. I decided to stay anonymous throughout my gaming career. I trust him, I really do, but I've never worked up the guts to go meet him in person."

The man patiently nodded. "I understand. You're afraid that your friend won't like the way you look."

"Well....kind of, I guess."

"You've got nothing to worry about, kid. If he's truly your best friend, then he won't care what you look like."

"I know."

"What's this friend's name?"

"Evan."

"All the Evans I know are kind-hearted souls. Always calm, collected, and one hundred percent made of marshmallows. Big softies, if you ask me." The man gave him a friendly wink.

Jonathan chuckled. "Sounds like my Evan." He looked away briefly, a thoughtful smile playing on his lips. His eyes went back to the man. "I don't think I caught your name."

"Stephen." The man held his hand out.

"Jonathan." He took Stephen's hand and shook it firmly.

For the rest of the flight, he was content with chatting quietly with the nice man. They talked about anything and everything, putting out all their secrets to show. For once, Jonathan didn't worry about pouring his heart out to a complete stranger.

Truth be told, Stephen kind of reminded him of his father.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

Evan had been waiting at the airport for nearly an hour. He'd estimated around what time Delirious' flight would land, and drove to the airport earlier than he normally would. He was just too excited.

When the airport announced the arrival of his plane, Evan sent Delirious a quick text saying his whereabouts and waited. He casually looked out into the crowd for his friend, searching for anyone in wearing his signature _VanossGaming_ shirt.

It took about another fifteen minutes before he found him.

Delirious was walking through the crowd, gazing around the room. He had on a familiar black shirt with the white _VG_ on the front, but the sleeves were cut off to create a sort of home-made tank top. His left bicep was covered with the faded blues, greens, and black of a large sleeve tattoo. He also had on faded jean shorts, high-top Converse, and a pair of aviators that covered his eyes. The black cap that he said he'd wear covered his hair and proudly showed off a purple emblem of a bird with the bold white words _NGHS Nighthawks_ displayed across it.

He was a lot smaller than Evan thought he'd be. He looked pretty thin; maybe only a hundred and forty pounds max. He was also a lot shorter too. If Evan had to guess, he'd say that Delirious stood only five foot five inches.

Evan smirked and waited for Delirious to look his way. When Delirious finally spotted him, he couldn't help but grin wider.

Delirious returned his smile and began making his way towards Evan. He had a bag slung across his right shoulder and another rolling along the ground behind him. He stopped in front of Evan, set down his bags, and removed his aviators.

Evan almost gasped out loud. Delirious' eyes were _beautiful_.

His irises were a stunning ice blue, such a light color that Evan wondered if maybe they were fake. The outside of his iris was ringed in a dark cobalt that bled into the pale blue. His almond-shaped eyes were perfected by dark, thick eyelashes that scraped across the fair skin of his cheeks when he blinked.

"Hey Evan." Delirious' pink lips quirked upwards into a bright smile. It was a blinding smile; one that perfectly fit his bright personality. His lips parted slightly to show off his dazzling white teeth, his sparkling eyes crinkling slightly with the sheer wideness of the smile. It created dimples that warped the faint splatter of freckles across his pink-hued cheeks.

His voice was different in person, too. It was a lot deeper and huskier, though it still had a slight slur. It also made his normally acute accent more prominent. Yet, it was definitely the same unique tone of _H20 Delirious_.

"I thought you said you were a seven?" Evan crossed his arms as Delirious blinked in confusion. "Not a fucking nine and a half."

Delirious laughed, and Evan would be damned if it wasn't even better in person.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

After talking for a couple of minutes, Evan and Jonathan decided to get out of the hectic airport. Evan had started out calling him Delirious, but he'd been shushed quickly.

"Just call me Jonathan." He'd said sheepishly. "I'd rather not have a crazed fan snapping pictures of me and posting them all over the Internet."

The name had sounded foreign at first. Evan just wasn't used to it. But he had to admit; it kind of fit.

So Evan helped Jonathan load his bags into the bed of his black Chevy Silverado and made sure that Tucker's dog crate was strapped in tight. Then they set off on the twenty minute ride to Evan's house.

The whole time, Jonathan was talking enthusiastically to Evan, his eyes constantly flicking around at the outside world. Evan could tell that he eager to be staying with him; in LA no less. The excitement practically radiated off of him.

Finally, their long ride came to an end as Evan pulled into his paved driveway. He shut off the engine, removed his keys from the ignition, and turned to Jonathan with a small smile. "We're here."

Jonathan was staring wide-eyed through the car window at Evan's house. "You live here? It's fucking huge!"

Evan followed his gaze, a dry chuckle leaving his lips. "And expensive."

His home was a neat two-story suburban luxury. It was large, especially for someone who lived alone, and even had its own garage. From the pristine white paint to the glossy maroon shutters that framed the clear, untouched glass windows, it was easy to tell that this house was newly built.

Jonathan laughed lightly. "I bet. If I thought my bills were high, I don't wanna see what yours look like." It was a known fact that living anywhere in LA was more expensive than finding a cheap house elsewhere. The price of a normal two-story house back east would cost about as much as a small apartment here.

They got out of the truck and unstrapped Jonathan's belongings from the bed. Evan unlocked the door to the house and they began dragging everything inside, starting with Tucker's crate.

"Holy shit." Jonathan exclaimed when he entered the home. "Dude, this is depressing as hell."

Evan shot him a confused glance.

"Who the hell taught you to decorate? I think I might have to help you with your OCD. This place is as plain and organized as my grandma's house."

Evan wasn't too interested in decorating. Painting the walls was too much work, so they were all some shade of white, cream, or beige. He also didn't have a lot of furniture to take up the empty space in the rooms.

Evan grinned slightly. "C'mon, man, it's not that plain."

"Yeah, it kind of is." Jonathan giggled, the sound echoing around the room.

Evan rolled his eyes and scoffed lightly. "Whatever, man. I'll give you a tour of the house, and then we can get you settled in. Release the beast so he can come too."

He watched as Jonathan unlatched the metal latch on the front of the kennel. The brown Pitbull Terrier came happily bounding out of the cage, immediately jumping excitedly all over both Evan and Jonathan.

"Down, Tucker! Stop!" Jonathan attempted to scold the dog, but he was laughing too much. Tucker was currently jumping all over him, licking long stripes up his pale face.

Evan watched in amusement. Before he knew it, it was his turn, too. He found himself getting a face full of dog slobber. Jonathan was still laughing the entire time, but this time he was laughing at how Evan was attempting to wipe the slobber from his face.

Once the dog calmed down, Evan led them through the layout of the house. First was the ground floor; a living room that was conjoined with the kitchen; the small downstairs bathroom with only a toilet and a sink; a washroom that included a laundry chute leading down from the upstairs bathroom, a washing machine, and a matching drier; and then his gaming room, complete with a desk that housed his laptop and a separate TV for his Xbox. Then they worked their way up the stairs. The second floor was complete with one guest bedroom, another bathroom that housed the only bathtub, an empty room that was used for storage, and Evan's bedroom.

When the tour was over, Evan helped Jonathan get his bags into his room. "You can set up your equipment on the desk." He pointed to a wooden desk set up up in the corner of the room. "And you can put any of your clothes in the dresser. I'll go order some pizza for lunch."

"Dinner." Jonathan pointed out. 

"Lunch slash dinner."

"Linner!" Jonathan corrected in a sing-song voice.

Evan stuck out his tongue playfully and left him to unpack. He called up the local pizza place to deliver a simple cheese and pepperoni pizza to his front door within twenty-five minutes.

As he waited, he sat down on his couch and turned on the TV. He was startled when something hopped up next to him. He looked over to see Tucker getting comfortable against his side. The dog's large paws stuck off the side of the couch, his face pressed into the fabric of Evan's jeans. His soft hazel eyes gazed up into Evan's own mocha brown.

Evan smirked and affectionately scratched the dog behind the ears. "You must really like me already, eh buddy?"

Tucker's whole behind shook from side to side, as if trying to wag a tail that wasn't there. Evan couldn't help but laugh at how funny it looked. "Sorry, buddy, but you can't shake what you don't have."

Unbeknownst to him, Jonathan was watching from the top of the stairs, a smile gracing his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know if you've noticed, but I've gone back and made some minor changes. For instance, Evan lives in LA instead of Canada now.
> 
> But anyways, that's it for the second chapter! I'm not going to have the next one up for a while because I'm going on vacation. Yay!


	3. Dinner Dates

  
Jonathan woke up the next morning to the sound of water running. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and stretched his legs and back. His eyes steadily adjusted to the bright light that was streaming through the window curtains. He rolled over on his side and just laid there for a bit, listening to the steady pitter-patter of water.

It took him a moment to realize that it was coming from the bathroom. The walls of Evan's house were extremely thin, so even the quietest sound echoed throughout the whole house. He bet that Evan was taking a shower right now. That would explain the uneven clap of the water hitting a solid object, then falling to the ground.

He stayed laying in bed for a while. He listened to the constant rush of water through the pipes, and the sound of it splattering against both Evan and the shower tiles. He waited there for minutes until the water finally shut off as Evan got out of the shower.

As he laid there, he allowed his memory to catch up to him. He recalled leaving early yesterday morning, his three flights, his conversation with Stephen, and his arrival. He remembered how Evan had taken him back to his house and allowed him to unpack. He remembered that, for the rest of the night, he and Evan had eaten pizza, played on the Xbox, and shared a couple beers.

Luckily, Jonathan had been smart enough not to drink too much. He'd only accepted one. If he'd drank another, he'd start to become tipsy because of his low tolerance to alcohol. He would've most definitely had a major hangover in the morning. And the last thing he wanted to do was say some drunken asshole-ish shit and embarrass himself in front of Evan.

Jonathan finally forced himself to sit up. He turned his head to look over at the digital alarm clock placed on top of the bedside dresser. His bleary eyes took in the numbers, and he nearly fell out of bed from shock. The clock read  _1:30pm._

"What the actual _fuck_?" Jonathan exclaimed out loud. Disbelief seeped into his voice and shone in his wide eyes. "I slept in past _noon_?"

He'd never slept in this late, nor for this long. He'd always had trouble falling asleep at night, and he'd always wake up extremely early. Very rarely would he ever get a good night of rest; and most definitely not for _thirteen hours._

Jonathan's head snapped to the door when he heard an amused laugh. An extremely shirtless Evan stood in the now open doorway, a wet towel draped over his bare shoulders. "Jet lag does that to you, man." He explained lightly, but Jonathan couldn't keep his eyes off of his body.

Evan was toned, no doubt about that. His abs were formed well enough to show off the deep contours across his stomach, his hip bones disappearing under the seam of his pants to form a perfect v. His lean forearms were crossed over his broad chest, his fingers resting on his large biceps.

"Holy _shit_. You're fucking _ripped_."

Evan scoffed and rolled his eyes skeptically. "Tell me something I don't know already." His tone was teasing and playfully, but there was an underlying current of embarrassment. It was almost like he was self-conscious about himself. _Evan? Self-conscious?_

"You're a cocky bastard, you know that."

"Oh, I know that too."

"Asshole."

Evan smirked knowingly. "That I am, my dear."

Jonathan huffed, chucking his pillow at Evan. He growled in frustration when it hit the wall to the right of his target, who outright laughed at his miss.

"Shut the fuck up and piss off." He growled grumpily. He pulled the single white sheet of the bed back over his body and turned onto his stomach. His face pressed down into the mattress in a sort of twisted hope of suffocating himself.

"Whoa. Someone's not a morning person." Jonathan could practically _hear_ the smug smirk in his voice.

"No I'm not, bitch."

"Would it make you feel better if I said I made waffles?"

Jonathan peeked one eye out of the sheet. "What kind of waffles?"

"I distinctly remembered you mentioning how much you love chocolate chip waffles."

"I love you so much right now."

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

After enjoying a delicious homemade late breakfast, Evan relayed their ideas for what to do today. He offered to show Jonathan around town, maybe do a little bit of souvenir shopping, and go out to eat for lunch. Anything else was up to Jonathan.

Jonathan's eyes lit up with a sudden idea. "You have a skateboard or a pair of rollerblades?"

"My brother got me brand new rollerblades for Christmas two years ago. I barely even touched them."

"Go find 'em. We're gonna tour LA in style."

Evan opened his mouth to reply, but was left standing there as Jonathan raced off. He shook his head and headed upstairs to find his rollerblades.

After digging through the large stack of unpacked boxes in the spare room, he finally headed back downstairs with a pair of shiny black and red rollerblades hanging from his fingertips. He had to shake the dust off them, but they were still in good condition. He found that Jonathan was already waiting by the door.

Jonathan had a huge grin on his face. His _Nighthawks_ cap was atop his head once more, the brim slid around his head so that the hat was completely backwards and the soft tufts of his brown hair stuck out of from the hat's slit. The hem of his gray muscle shirt just barely covered the elastic band of his loose cerulean shorts. A pair of expensive-looking Jordans donned his feet. His hands were folded behind him, as if he was hiding something from view.

Evan raised an eyebrow at the choice of clothing. "Are we planning on joining a street gang? If so, I am totally underdressed."

"No." Jonathan giggled. His hands finally coming around to reveal what was so secretive. "We are going to be rolling through town _in style_."

In his hands he held a skateboard, carefully hand-painted in gloriously bright colors, with a whole collage of various symbols, brand names, and objects blended tightly together. But the one thing that stood out on it was the single area where there was no paint at all. The blank area contained the large, thick graffiti words that spelled _Delirious._

"You skateboard?" Evan raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Yep. Me and Luke used to go to the park every Saturday night way back when. It was a place you could go, and others wouldn't judge you, because you were too busy skateboarding to worry about anything else. You could totally suck at skateboarding, and people there would just politely give you pointers. The people there could be punk rockers, or they could be complete nerds; you never really bothered to find out. Everyone was too busy _living in the moment_."

Evan hummed thoughtfully. He continued to lock up the house and followed Jonathan down the steps of the stairs. He barely had enough time to slip on the roller blades before Jonathan was taking off, laughing maniacally as he chased after the cracks in the sidewalk. The sound of the wheels clicking and scraping drifted in his wake.

Evan smirked and pushed off from his steps, gliding after his friend. The two raced down several suburban blocks, pushing and shoving at each other. Eventually those suburban homes began to turn into large apartments and businesses, and before they knew it, they were smack dab in the center of Los Angeles.

They began to slow down and weave their way through the crowd. Evan pushed ahead of Jonathan and took his hand to make sure they didn't get separated. He began to point out some landmarks and stores, then recited their relation to Los Santos areas in _GTA_.

If he looked back, he would've seen Jonathan's face turn a bright red, his piercing blues gazing wide-eyed at their locked hands.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

After their long tour around town, Evan ended up dragging Jonathan into a couple stores. "Pick out whatever you want." His tan-skinned friend told him. "I'm buying."

Jonathan was about to refuse, he really was. He couldn't make Evan pay for anything; it was already generous enough that he was letting him stay at his mansion of a place. But the look in Evan's eyes said there was no room for discussion.

Jonathan ended up picking out a necklace at one store. In his defense, he really liked it. It was made with simple black necklace string with a steel arrowhead pendant weighing it down. The pendant was etched with swirls of light blue and dark blue. In the center of it was the uneven scrawl _H2O_. Jonathan loved how it was so simple, yet suited him perfectly.

The next two stores they went to they ended up getting kicked out of. The store owners didn't like the wheels scratching up his precious floor. One even threatened to call the cops.

The next item they bought was something for Tucker. It was a miscellaneous department store, and Evan had ended up finding the pet isle. Jonathan remembered being just down the isle when he heard Evan huff a laugh, and looked up from his perusing to see Evan holding up a dog toy. The thing was a giant ball with a pair of teeth painted on it. On the tag was the picture of an English Bulldog with the ball in its mouth, giving it an uncanny smile.

They eventually agreed on getting it for Tucker.

They didn't get much after that. They mostly just wandered aimlessly, looked at stuff but didn't bother to buy much else, other than a couple minor knickknacks for Jonathan's shelves.

But just when Jonathan was going to call it, when he was going to tell Evan that his feet hurt him, when the crowds were starting to get too much, when the sun was beginning to creep down even further- Evan dragged him into one last place.

It took him another minute to realize that it was a restaurant. The dim lights above, the idle chatter, the clothed tables topped with candles and menus and condiments, the smell of various foods- it all gave it away.

Jonathan watched as Evan slipped off his rollerblades and placed them beside the chalkboard saying _"please seat yourself"_ before doing the same with his skateboard. Evan motioned for him to follow, and they found a two person table by a heavily tinted window.

Jonathan looked around the place. The walls were painted a unique blend of blues, greens, and some tan. The floor was simple dark wood, but it was polished and shiny. The tablecloth was mocha brown with various kitchen and dining utensils printed on it.

He looked up again as a petite waitress with golden hair came up to them. She put on a bright smile. "Hi, my name's Shauna, and I'll be your waitress for today! Can I start you two off with some drinks?"

Evan shot Jonathan a mischievous-looking grin and ordered for both of them. "A glass of wine for me and my friend here." Jonathan narrowed his eyes at him.

The waitress wrote that down on her notepad. "And would you like white or red?"

"Red please."

"All right, I'll be right out with your drinks a minute." She sauntered off towards the kitchen.

Jonathan glared at Evan's smug look. "It's like you know I have a low tolerance to alcohol or something." He crossed his arms and pretended to pout.

Evan laughed at his action. "I do, actually. Luke told me."

Jonathan put on a betrayed face. "That fucking _bitch!_ " Although, there was no real venom in his words.

"And I also noticed last night that you didn't drink a lot." Evan added.

Jonathan made to reach across the table and smack him on the arm, but he was stopped when he heard somebody to left of them calling Evan's name. He looked over to the direction the voice came from and froze.

_You have got to be kidding me._

Evan stood up to greet the man approaching them, a woman behind him telling him something before walking off towards a door labeled _restroom_. "Hey, man! What're you doing here?" The two embraced in a friendly bro hug.

"Berenice is visiting for the weekend, and she wanted to tour Los Angeles. I, being the completely amazing boyfriend I am, decided to treat her to dinner." The thick Irish accent made him twitch. He honestly was hoping to keep his identity somewhat intact; running into _Nogla_ probably wasn't helping his case. It was only a matter of time before a fan made the connection.

Hazel eyes found their way to Jonathan. "Who's your friend?" Nogla asked in genuine curiosity.

Before Evan could reply, Jonathan stood up with a grin. _Screw it._ He held out his hand for Nogla to shake. "Call me Jonathan."

Nogla accepted the hand with a friendly smile. "Nice to meet you."

"You've already met him, Nogla." Evan pointed out knowingly. He completely ignored Jonathan flashing him his middle finger and smirked at Nogla's confused expression.

"It's Delirious, man." Evan said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He rolled his brown eyes.

Jonathan's eyes sparkled mischievously. He gave Nogla a wink, his finger coming up to his lips in the universal " _shhh_ " signal.

He suddenly found himself in a bone-crushing hug. He squeaked in surprise as his face met the gray cloth of Nogla's shirt. His horrified blue eyes met Evan's amused brown, and he mouthed _"help me!"_

Evan just shook his head. A laugh bubbled out of his lips. _The smug asshole._

"Nogla.....can't.....breathe...!" Jonathan gasped out, although it was more for theatrical flair than actual lack of breath. Nogla pulled away, and Jonathan craned his neck to look up at the grinning bastard. "It's really you, man!" Nogla exclaimed.

Jonathan just giggled in response. He motioned towards the table behind his and Evan's. "You guys wanna sit next to us? It can be, like, a  _double date_." He wiggled his eyebrows and shot Evan a wink. Uncontrollable giggles bubbled up out of his mouth.

Evan smacked Jonathan in the side, but there was still a grin on his face. Nogla laughed his large hiccuping guffaws at the two's interaction. "Sure, I'll join you two focks. I'm sure Berenice won't mind."

Jonathan sat down in the creaky wooden chair. Not once did the infectious grin leave his face.

You know what? Maybe his friends did like him in person as much as they did behind the microphone. Maybe he had nothing to worry about.

Maybe, just maybe, everything could work out in his favor for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late chapter! Let's just say it's been a hectic couple of months.....


	4. All vs Nanners

Jonathan woke up to a ton of texts on his phone. It must have been going off all morning, because when he finally scrolled to the beginning, the first message was sent at 4:33 am. The rest came in one after another for the next two and a half hours.

He groaned when he finally looked at them all. They were mostly comments about his face, some teasing him about his " _pretty baby blue eyes_ " or his height or just his " _beautifully handsome face_ " in general. Nogla must've run his mouth after their meet up.

He took the time to call Nogla and bitch him out. Thankfully, Nogla hadn't taken any pictures of him to show to the guys. It also helped that Nogla kinda sucked at describing him.

He didn't want them all to see him just yet. He wanted to meet them in person, now that he was finally starting to gain confidence. If he had to see them one by one, he would. He'd just like for them to see him for _who he was_ , not through some electronic screen. Nogla, despite being the trolling little shit he was, understood.

He thought he'd start fairly easy. The first person he'd gotten in touch with after that was Adam, aka Seananners. He asked him if he wanted to get together while he was in LA. Adam gladly accepted, and suggested burgers and laser tag.

Naturally, he dragged Evan with him. He didn't know his way around town, and besides......Evan was kind of his crutch. Jonathan just needed him there for moral support. Or else he'd probably end up wimping out.

It was 5:00 in the afternoon when they drove into town. They were headed towards the name of a burger place that was apparently very popular in LA, but Jonathan had never heard of it. Apparently they had a strange menu, but good burgers. In 'N Out maybe?

Jonathan adjusted the drawstrings of his gray sweatshirt once more. He'd been doing that ever since they'd left, and they were almost there. He kept shifting nervously in the seat.

"It'll be fine." Evan's voice got his attention. "You're too....worriful."

"First of all, _worriful_? What kind of word is that? You mean _worrisome_ right? Secondly, I _know_ that."

"You look like somebody stuffed fire ants down your pants, man." Evan pointed out blatantly, ignoring the first half of the reply.

"I'm not nervous!"

"I didn't say that you were."

"But you _implied_ it!"

"Big baby." Evan teased lightly.

Jonathan made a hmmph sound and crossed his arms, continuing to stare out the window. "Asshole." He muttered.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

When Jonathan walked through the door behind Evan, he immediately spotted Adam. Adam must've spotted him too, because his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas, and he walked over to them with a bright smile. He pulled Jonathan into a loose bro-hug, and gave Evan a light punch on the shoulder.

"Man, you're _short_." Was the first words out of Adam's mouth. Jonathan just laughed it off.

They stepped up to the waiting line to order their food. When Jonathan caught sight of the menu, he raised a questioning eyebrow. "What the fuck?"

Evan laughed at him, and Adam did his signature giggle. "What, did you think this was gonna be a Burger King? With all those fancy-schmancy items? Nope! It's called In 'N Out for a reason! No more standing in line forever trying to decide what to get. Man, I hate that." Adam pointed out cheerfully.

"No fucking kidding." Jonathan muttered more to himself than a reply. "McDonalds has more variety than this shit."

Adam gasped dramatically, his hand coming up to clutch at his heart. "You did not just say that." When Jonathan grinned evilly in response, he crossed his arms and faced away. "I'm afraid I can't talk to you anymore."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. He felt Evan poke him in the side and looked towards him. "I dare you to try something you've never eaten before." Evan said simply. He knew that Jonathan was an extremely picky eater and rarely ever ate out.

"That won't be too hard. There's literally _five things_ on the menu."

Adam and Evan simultaneously laughed, even though Adam was still giving him the silent treatment. Jonathan smirked, his adorable dimples deepening on his cheeks. This was gonna be a pretty great night.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

Jonathan was wrong. So, so wrong.

He ran like hell down the small corridor and whipped around the corner. Braced flush against the wall, he looked back to see if he was being followed. He wasn't. He sighed in relief and slid down into a crouch.

The lights above were dim. The only lights came from red, blue, and green surging panels on the walls, and from the transparent gun that weighed in his hands. Music blared above, just a few notches too loud. It caused his ears to ring and made it impossible to listen for footsteps.

Jonathan adjusted the reader on his chest. It felt slightly heavy, almost like armor or a body vest. He peeked around the corner again. Nobody was there.

It kind of worried him. Last thing he knew, Evan was on his ass. He'd made a couple of turns through the maze when he realized he wasn't being followed anymore. However, the place wasn't that big, and they weren't the only ones playing. Surely somebody should've caught up to him now.

Jonathan stood once more and readied his gun. He held it out in front of him as he turned the corner. Once he was sure that nobody was there, he advanced down the hallway slowly and cautiously.

Which is why he was surprised when someone spoke really closely behind him. " _Turn around_."

Jonathan jumped out of his skin and screamed in terror. He heeded the voice's advice only for a red laser to hit him square in his unprotected chest. His reader flashed red and let out three shrill beeps before lying still. The dim circle of light that symbolized his life had gone out completely.

"Gotcha, bitch!" The person crowed proudly. A tall, broad figure with a red bandana tied to their forehead. _Evan_.

Jonathan scowled at him. He flipped him off and started the walk back to the starting station. He heard Evan's footsteps following closely behind. "How'd you even get me?" He asked over the music. "I was watching the hallway the whole time."

Evan took a couple big strides so that he was in step with Jonathan. Out of the corner of his eye, Jonathan could see the light grin on his face. "I went around, you idiot. You should've checked behind you."

Jonathan scoffed. He adjusted the gun so it was resting over one shoulder. He slid his blue bandana back up from where it's started sliding downward. "Whatever, bitch."

Evan laughed amusedly at him. "Oh, you're just sore that I've kicked your ass in laser tag for the third time in a row." He jabbed at Jonathan in the side with his gun. Jonathan smacked the gun away and stepped even further away from Evan. "Tch, I'll get my revenge next round."

"You said that last round. And I think I remember you saying it the round before that too."

"Don't you have a game to finish?" Jonathan pointed out, trying to derail the topic. Just as he finished his sentence, he spotted a figure sneaking up from a side path they were walking past. He caught sight of the green bandana wrapped around its forehead and almost grinned. The figure put a finger up to its own grinning lips. _Adam_.

Evan shrugged nonchalantly. He was completely unaware of their new addition. "There's only a couple people left anyways."

"Oh really?" Jonathan said, trying to sound only vaguely interested and somewhat sarcastic. Evan took note of his tone with a confused tilt of his head. Jonathan waited for Adam to get into position before letting his grin spread on his face. "Maybe _you_ should turn around."

And that's precisely what Evan did.

"I win!" Adam cried victoriously. He threw his hands up into the air and let his head fall back. "Again! Bow down to your ruler, peasants!"

Jonathan just laughed loudly, Evan chuckling with him. They shared a brief look that promised something dark. "Everyone vs Nanners?" Jonathan suggested evilly, giggles still escaping his lips.

Evan nodded in mutual agreement and they hurried to the starting point to the rest of their laser tag group. They ignored Adam's exclamations of _what_ and _wait_ and _no_ and _not fair_ , laughing all the way back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter! The next one should be longer and more eventful. :) Anyways, Happy Saint Patrick's Day!


	5. Everything Happens on the Beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a little late, but on the bright side it's finally here! :) Enjoy this next chapter.

The next morning, Jonathan was hopping back up into the passenger seat of Evan's midnight black truck. He'd called Craig and Lui the night before about meeting up. The two were eager to accept.

The plan was just to enjoy a nice, relaxing day at the beach. Swimming, maybe a little volleyball, and a picnic. They didn't exactly make set plans.

The entire ride, Jonathan kept thinking about different scenarios on how the day could go. He couldn't really help the fact his anxiety was skyrocketing.

When Evan pulled into the beach parking lot, Jonathan immediately spotted Craig and Lui. The two were casually leaning against the passenger side of Craig's rental car, a silver 2014 Toyota Camry. He was supposedly renting it for a few days while he went on a road trip around the Cali coastline.

The two perked up immediately as Evan's Chevy swung in next to them. Jonathan bit back his anxiety. He would be fine. They wouldn't reject him. He would be fine. He would be-

Evan cut the ignition off and leaned over towards him. "You gonna be okay?" _Damn it_. Was it that obvious?

Jonathan gave him a tentative smile. "Yeah."

"You got this, man."

"Thanks for the moral support, _mom_."

Evan grinned at his sarcasm and pushed open his door. Craig and Lui immediately greeted him with bro hugs and cheers.

Jonathan took a deep breath and slid out of the truck. He calmly made his way around the other side where his friends were residing. As soon as he came into view, Lui and Craig's eyes locked onto him. They immediately quieted up. Jonathan gave them a nervous smile, his belly twisting in anticipation.

Craig broke the ice with a wide grin and a loud cry of " _Delirious_!" He gathered Jonathan up into a hug, causing the slightly smaller man to stagger back in surprise. He quickly released his hold and stepped backward, bouncing on his feet like an overexcited child. "You beautiful, beautiful man!"

Lui immediately took his chance to step up. "I finally found someone shorter than me." He joked lightly whilst giving Jonathan a much more docile hug.

In turn, Jonathan laughed heartily. His palm pushed into Lui's shoulder playfully. "Shut up."

Lui barely even moved. "Don't you mean _shuch_ up?" He winked in smug triumph.

The four began their walk to the beach, laughing and joking all the way. They set up their towels and umbrellas at an open spot on the sand. The water wasn't far off, so they had a straight shot to the ocean.

They were just starting to settle down when Lui's perceptive eye caught sight of something.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa; what is _this_?" Lui scooted closer and tugged at Jonathan's collar. "Is that a tattoo I see?"

Jonathan smirked, humming in affirmation. He pulled his shirt up and over his head to show them. Starting as simple a simple design on his right bicep was a beautiful tribal tattoo. It extended up the length of his upper arm, entwining together in beautiful blues, greens, and purples. It went over his shoulder and down the right side of his back, stopping just before his pant-line.

"My grandfather was one-fourths Indian." Jonathan explained quietly. "He had tattoos like these all over. He used to tell me that each one represented a story of our ancestors. As soon as I turned of age, I got this tattoo in his memory. I actually just had to get it redone; 's why the colors are so bright."

Lui smiled genuinely. "Wicked." He said in awe.

"You're part Indian?" Evan asked curiously. He hadn't known about that.

"Uh-huh, on my mother's side. My grandfather grew up in Cherokee, a reservation on the west side of North Carolina."

Craig, who'd been curiously observing through the whole ordeal, finally piped up. "Jesus fuck, we are really diverse." He began. "I mean, we have Nogla and Brian- both Irish; Evan, Asian and Canadian; Marcel is half black; I'm English, or British as you Americans call it; Droidd is Hispanic, same with Lui. We've got friends all over the States, and then there's Delirious, who's part Native American. We must be pretty strange to all our viewers."

There was a moment of silence while everyone just stared at Craig. Then they burst out laughing. "Where did you come up with this?" Lui asked through his laughter.

"I can't help it, okay?" Craig defended himself, but ended up laughing as well.

"Let's go swimming before Mini offends someone with his racism." Jonathan patted Craig lightly on the back before vaulting to the water. A giggling Lui followed him, followed shortly by a grinning Evan.

"I'm not racist!" Craig protested after them. He followed them down to the water nonetheless.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

After about an hour of swimming, splashing, and goofing around, the boys decided to engage a game of volleyball before the nets got too congested. Lui and Craig were set up on a team with a shaggy-haired hipster, a short brunette, and the brunette's Latino husband. Meanwhile, Jonathan and Evan were teamed up with a blonde chick ( _who had, as Lui so kindly put it, nice tits_ ), a tall dark-skinned female, and a young woman with dyed blue hair.

They'd been playing for nearly an hour when Lui decided it would be the last match. Everyone stepped up their game by a tenfold to try and prove themselves the better player.

Evan watched as Jonathan dove to save the ball. He succeeded, but also ended up face planting into the ground. Evan laughed, and a couple of the other players joined in as well. The forgotten ball hit the ground.

Jonathan rolled onto his back, his body shaking with laughter. His face was streaked with sand, and his eyes were screwed tight to keep the grains out of them.

Evan crouched down next to him as he sat up and scraped the sand off his face. "How'd the sand taste?" He teased lightly.

Jonathan peeled his eyes open and shot Evan a half-assed dirty look. "Shut up." There was no bite to his words, however.

Evan laughed and gave him a hand up. By then, the other players had started to shake hands and mingle more. Lui, of course, was so obviously trying to hit on the blonde. Craig had just finished shaking hands with the Latino guy when the hipster made an announcement. "Alright, everyone! Lunch and drinks on me!"

Nobody was about to turn down free beer and burgers.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

The young couple ( _the short brunette and the Latino guy_ ) had long since left, moving on to some place more private. Evan had learned from the talkative woman, Jane, that it was their honeymoon. They'd gotten married earlier in the week in Pennsylvania and took a plane over to Cali immediately after the reception.

The dark-skinned woman also had to leave. She was fresh out of high school, and had to hurry home for a job interview. Evan didn't learn her name.

The other three stuck around. It was a fun experience, meeting new people and just hanging out, not knowing if you'd ever see each other again. The hipster, Colton, was around Evan's age. He was a born and raised Californian. The other two, the girls, were close friends. The busty blonde, Amanda, had taken an immediate liking to the attention Lui was giving her. Meanwhile, her blue-haired friend Aubrey seemed glued to Craig's side, adoring his foreign accent. They were vacationing from Columbus, Ohio.

The group stayed on the beach for a while longer. They played more competitive volleyball, went swimming, and held a miniature sandcastle-making competition ( _Jonathan surprisingly won, although Aubrey came in a close second_ ). When the sun began to slip underneath the waves, they started to wind down.

Colton reluctantly said goodbye. "That's the most fun I've had in _forever_." He claimed as he shook each of their hands. "Most of the time you tourists are boring." They waved goodbye to him as he snatched up his sandals and jogged out of sight.

The remaining six sat in the sand for a while longer, watching as the sun turned the sky a brilliant orangey-pink. Then Craig and Lui stood, the girls following suit. "We're going to walk down the road to a bar." Lui told Evan and Jonathan. "You guys wanna come with?"

"Bars aren't really my type of setting." Evan said, shrugging. He glanced sideways at Jonathan, watching as he smiled sheepishly up at Lui. "I don't drink."

Which was a lie. Jonathan did drink, but Evan guessed he didn't like drinking in crowds. Anything could happen if you got wasted at a public place; but if you were at somebody's home with only a couple people, threats were minimized.

Lui just laughed it off. "Whatever, losers." Friendly goodbye hugs were exchanged, and then Lui and Craig were gone, a girl on each of their arms.

It was just Evan and Jonathan. There were still some people scattered throughout the beach, walking or talking or just laying around. Swimming had been prohibited after a certain time, but some daring people ventured out a bit further than waist-high. The water had calmed, the tide just a soothing lull now.

"I could get used to this." Jonathan murmured quietly. Evan turned his head to look at him. His knees were pulled up so he could rest his elbows on them, his chin cradled in his hands. His half-lidded baby blue eyes reflected the magnificent sunset. He had a dreamy, tranquil look on his face; like he was lost in his own mind, his heart carried away by the tide.

Evan turned back to the sunset. Something was tugging at his chest, gnawing inside his stomach, making his skin tingle. "Yeah. It's beautiful." He replied quietly.

Then it hit him. His fingers twitched with the realization, shifting the sand beneath his fingers. He wasn't just talking about the sunset.

When they were gaming, it was usually with a group of friends. He was always just there. They'd talked here and there alone, but not extensively. After they'd met in person, they'd been growing inseparably close through the past week. They'd had more time to get to know each other better. It was just the two of them; although they were occasionally joined by another friend.

He'd had more fun hanging with Jonathan than with anyone else in the years he'd been living in LA. He could shamelessly be himself without making things awkward. Jonathan knew him well, and the two got along perfectly.

It was there- with the gentle waves rolling in towards them, the water lapping eagerly at their feet, the shadowed boardwalk stretching seaward in the far right distance, seagulls circling lazily over their heads, music drifting in from somewhere inland, the darkening orange sky reflected in the ocean- that Evan realized.

He was in love with Jonathan.


	6. When In Doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God this took a while. But hey it's finally here! And now only 2 (or maybe 3) more chapters to go! Yay!
> 
> Btw, this chapter may get a little bit....ooc ish I guess?

Evan laid wide awake, staring at the blank ceiling. His alarm clock only read **6:26am** but he couldn't fall back asleep. He had too much on his mind.

The longer he thought about it, the more it began eating at him. He could feel it tickling the lining of his stomach like the flutter of a thousand butterfly wings. He was at a loss as to what to do. One wrong move and he could potentially ruin his and Jon's friendship forever. He needed to tell somebody.

But who? He obviously couldn't tell his best friend because then he'd be directly talking to the cause of his problem. Hell, he didn't even know how his _parents_ would react. Craig and Tyler would tease him about it, Lui was never good at giving advice, he really wasn't that close with Brian or Luke, Marcel probably wouldn't be of much help either. Nogla would be too much of a loud mouth and blab his issues to everyone.

Brock? Right now, he seemed like the most legible choice. He could keep a secret, and despite his silence and awkwardness, he was fairly good at giving serious advice. Besides, he was the only _married_ one out of them all.

Evan picked up his phone and stuffed it in his jean pocket. He quietly tiptoed past Jonathan's makeshift room, peeking in to make sure the other was still asleep. He made it down the stairs when he suddenly froze, the feeling of eyes boring into his back making his muscles tense.

He turned around to find soft brown eyes just a shade lighter than his own staring curiously at him from the top of the stairs. He sighed in relief. It was just Tucker. "C'mere boy." He whispered. The dog followed his path down the steps and stopped at his feet. "How 'bout we go for a walk?"

The dog's stub of a tail wagged in excitement. He followed Evan into the kitchen where his leash and collar lay discarded on the counter. Tucker let him slip the loose collar on over his head and patiently waited for them to leave.  
  
"We should probably leave Jon a note just in case, shouldn't we?" Evan mused to the dog. He slid open a drawer underneath the counter and took out a shopping list pad and a pen. He quickly scribbled down an explanation for his departure.

Leaving both pen and pad on the counter, he hooked Tucker's leash on and headed out the door.

He had a private phone call to make.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

Jonathan couldn't believe it was almost September already. Summer had went by fast. He'd been at Evan's for nearly a week now. He really didn't want to leave yet; he was having too much fun. And now he was faced with another question.

PAX Prime was coming up in a few days. He could either choose to go back home or stay and meet the rest of his friends. He'd have to choose quick, however. Ticket availability was dwindling down by the hour. If he waited too long to decide, he'd miss out.

Not that he didn't want to meet the guys, but he was hesitating. He had his insecurities and anxiety. He also wasn't a big fan of crowds. The thought of brushing up against every other stranger he'd walk by nauseated him. Needless to say, Jonathan wasn't much of a person for human interaction, especially that of the physical kind.

He sighed and splashed a little more water on his face. The stress of the decision was starting to get to him.

His stomach growled. So was his hunger, apparently.

He walked across the hall to peek into Evan's room. Empty. Only then did the silence of the house fully hit him. In fact, Tucker hadn't even been in his room when he woke up.

Jonathan frowned as he made his way down the stairs. "Evan?" He called. No reply. Just dead silence.

Confused, he started to make his way around the bottom floor. Nobody was in the living room, nor the dining room. The kitchen was empty as well. Tucker's dog collar and leash were missing from where he'd last put them, too. Wait- there was a note on the counter.

_I stole your dog. Be back before 7:00 :) -Evan_

Jonathan smiled. Evan's handwriting had always been pretty neat for a guy. He'd gotten numerous letters and packages that contained the neat scribble over the past years. Compared to his own, it was as if an _angel_ had wrote it.

He laughed to himself and settled down at the table with a bowl of Cheerios. He still had another ten minutes before **7:00** , and damn was he _hungry_.

He was in the middle of lifting his first spoonful to his mouth when his phone rang. He groaned in exasperation. There goes enjoying his peaceful breakfast. He shoved the spoon in his mouth quickly and slid his phone out of his pocket.

 _Jenny_. It was his sister. He answered it.

"What do you want?" He mumbled around the spoon and Cheerios still in his mouth.

_"Well hello to you to, mister."_

Jon took the spoon out of his mouth and finished chewing the bit in his mouth. "Sorry, I'm in the middle of eating breakfast."

_"It's ten in the morning, Jon. I thought you're usually up earlier than this? Rough night?"_

"No, I'm visiting a friend in Los Angeles. It's seven here, I think." He squinted to look at the clock on the microwave. **6:57**. Close enough.

 _"Oh, great! Then this works out well! I'm going back home for a week and I was wondering if I could use your house?"_ Jenny had moved up north almost as soon as she graduated college. She wanted to get out more, " _explore_ " as she called it. She'd ended up getting a decent job in Pennsylvania and settling down there.

"Why not stay with mom and dad?"

 _"You know how mom and dad are, Jon. Besides, I'm bringing Chris with me. It'd be really awkward staying at mom and dad's with him."_ Chris was her fiancé. Jon had only met him once, but he seemed pretty cool. The rest of the family seemed to like him as well. But Jonathan understood her point. Their parents could be overbearing at times, and overall just, well, _embarrassing_.

"Ah, yeah. Sure, you can crash at my place. Just don't trash it and don't go in my room. No using my Xbox either." He'd taken his PC with him so he could still play and upload videos.

 _"Got it, your majesty. Thank you so much. Who are you staying with, anyways?"_ Jenny knew a bit about his friends. As soon as he'd told his family about his gaming career, his sister had done research on every single person he gamed with. She knew their names, their ages, their family lives, everything. He swore women did better research than a highly trained FBI agent.

"Vanoss. I've been here for the past week. I-" He paused when he suddenly remembered his issue. "Actually, I need your help."

Jenny hummed through the line. _"Alright, is this girl talk time?"_

Jonathan laughed at her antics. "No, no. Well, I mean.... nah not really. It's just, well, PAX is coming up in a few days. It's a giant gaming convention that pretty much all of my friends are going to. Evan's been begging me to go but I'm really not sure. For one, I'm not a fan of crowds. And second of all, if I hang out with the guys, a fan is bound to make the connection. I'm not ready to have my face plastered all over the media just yet."

 _"Evan's Canadian, eh?"_ Jonathan couldn't help the amused snort that escaped the back of his throat at her light-hearted jab at an imitation. _"He'll respect your decision no matter what you choose. Canadians are too nice for their own good."_

"That's a stereotype, Jen."

_"It's facts, Jon. Anyways, I'd talk to Evan 'bout it. Do you want to go for sure?"_

Jonathan was silent as he contemplated it. "Yeah, I do. There's just so many red flags."

 _"Tell him you want to go but you want to remain anonymous. Worst comes to worst you just wear a hockey mask."_ Luke had given him a custom-made hockey mask as a gag gift for his birthday. It was identical to the one his game character wore. He'd never actually tried it on, but he kept it around just for the sake of memories and laughs.

"I'm not wearing that mask. I want to go as Jonathan, not Delirious. Besides, I'm sure there's some people who don't know who I am or mothers with their kids that wouldn't know who I am and flip shit. Jason Vorhees-esque over here."

_"Then tell Evan this, not me. You could just spend the day at the convention with Evan. He can protect you from the big bad crowds. Then meet up somewhere else with the rest of the guys later on, like that adult Chuck-E Cheese place."_

"You mean Dave & Buster's?"

_"Sure, that place. I know you don't drink much but the others can while your loser self can play skee-ball with your Canadian lover."_

"Jenny!" Jonathan cried indignantly. His cheeks burned red with embarrassment. He loved his sister, but he hated when she picked on him like that.

His sister laughed in response. _"Hey, I say it as it is, bro."_ There was a small pause with background chatter. _"Look, I gotta go, Chris and I are packing for our flight tonight. I'll call you once we get to your house. Tucker there?"_

"Nah, I took him with me. Which reminds me, you're gonna have to turn the electricity and water on. I shut it off before I left."

_"Smart kid. Love you, Jon."_

"Love you too, Jen. Talk to you tomorrow." There was a click as the call ended.

Jonathan placed his phone down on the table and stared at his now soggy Cheerios. He'd have to get a new bowl now. He turned his head to look at the time again.

He wasn't expecting a figure to be leaning against the counter, blocking his view. He nearly jumped out of his seat in surprise. He quickly buried his face in his hands when he caught sight of just who it was, his cheeks burning red in embarrassment. Evan's laugh echoed in his ears.

He must've been so absorbed in his conversation that he hadn't noticed the door open, and he definitely hadn't heard footsteps.

"Jesus Christ, you fucking scared me. Stop it with that shit."

"Stop watching horror games."

"Stop telling me what to do, mom."

Evan changed the subject. He nodded to the phone. "Was that your sister?"

Jonathan had mentioned his sister a couple times before. Unlike Jenny who knew everything about Evan, Evan only knew her name. "Yeah. How much did you hear?"

"I came in as you were saying something about Dave & Buster's."

"I'll fill you in if you get me another bowl of cereal." Jonathan bribed.

"I'll make you bacon and eggs instead."

"Can I please just live with you for the rest of my life?"

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

Evan ended up buying Jonathan a ticket for PAX that night. He'd been really cool with it just being the two of them. They made plans to let the others know that night.

That was, until the power went out. There was a storm raging outside as the sun went down, casting an eerie darkness over the land. With it came high winds, torrential rain, and an onslaught of thunder and lightning. The terrible weather must've knocked a power line down.

Evan had been in the living room when the power blanked out. He'd been watching TV, waiting for Jon to finish editing a video upstairs. Then the TV shut off abruptly, as well as the kitchen light. He frowned and took his phone out of his pocket, switching the flashlight on.

He unplugged the TV as well as some of the other appliances around his house. The last thing he needed was one of them short circuiting from a power surge or a strike of lightning. He made his way upstairs to check on Jon next.

Which it confused him to find Jon nowhere to be found. He wasn't in the bathroom, and there was nobody in his room. A streak of lightning lit up the guest bedroom. He immediately took notice of the open window. The curtains were flapping furiously, but no rain came in. "Jon?" He called, walking over to the window.

He must've swore and screamed so loud that his neighbors three doors down heard him when a hand shot out from underneath the bed, wrapping its thin fingers around his ankle. He shook his leg free and rapidly backed up, away from the bed. Maniac laughter erupted from in the shadows, and Evan couldn't help but be a little angry. "What the actual fuck, man?"

Jon had been hiding under the bed, a hand still sticking out from underneath the bed. When Evan shone his light at him, he could see the man's face flushed red from laughing so hard, his body shaking uncontrollably.

Evan scowled. It was getting late, and he was extremely tired and extremely grumpy. "It's not fucking funny."

"I-it kind of was, dude. I should've gotten a video!" Jon crawled out from underneath the bed. He stood up to all five feet five inches of his height, still giggling to himself.

Evan didn't reply, just continued to glare at him. His heart still pounded hard in his chest, his blood pressure probably through the roof. His muscles were tense as well. He always hated pranks that scared him shitless.

"Aw, c'mon Evan." Jon crooned. "I didn't mean to make you mad. I heard you coming up the stairs and I just had to do it." His thick eyelashes blinked rapidly, his bottom lip stick out in a false pout. His lips were so red, and his eyes.... they were so blue and bright and sparkly and-

Evan pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a sigh. He needed to stop. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed. The power should switch back on sometime during the night. Good night, Jon." He turned around and walked out of the room, leaving Jon confused by his behavior.

Once he got to his room, he closed the door behind him and left his phone on the bedside dresser, flashlight-side up. He sat down on the edge of his bed, the springs creaking underneath his weight. His elbow rested on his thigh as he scrubbed wearily at his face. "Get you shit together, man." He muttered to himself.

Brock's words kept ringing in his ears. _Everything will set itself right eventually, Evan. I think the first thing you have to do is come to terms with the fact that you're in love with him._

He couldn't help the bitter thought that bubbled up in his mind. _Easy for you to say, Brock. You're straight._

Evan froze. Where did that land him as? He sure as hell wasn't straight anymore. But he wasn't gay either. Bisexual? He groaned in frustration, dramatically flopping back on the bed.

A knock sounded on the door. Evan just stared at it for an eternity before finally sauntering over and nudging it open.

Jonathan stood in the doorway with Tucker at his side. A blanket was draped over his shoulder, and a pillow was tucked underneath one hand. His eyes connected with Evan's. They were soft, if not a bit sheepish and guilty-looking. "Sleepover?" He suggested hopefully.

Evan's lips quirked up and he shook his head. "You're sleeping on the floor. Tucker gets the bed."

The heartwarming smile that spread across Jonathan's face made Evan's pulse speed up ten times faster. "Fuck you, we're _both_ getting the floor."


	7. And PAX Has Begun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was kind of a short and uneventful chapter. No matter, it is still an update no matter what the quality :) Not sure how many more chapters there's going to be; probably 1-2 depending on the writing quality of the next one.
> 
> Huge shoutout to my beta @takalsuki~ Much love and appreciation

PAX came in the blink of an eye. One moment they were buying tickets days prior to the event; the next, Evan was shaking Jon awake, telling him that he'd overslept their schedule, and that they needed to get going. 

  
They had about a sixteen hour drive, so they needed to wake up early in order to get there as soon as the doors open. They had planned to leave at five on the dime, but instead ended up leaving just before six in the afternoon. It would be a bit tight of a squeeze, since they still had to go to the motel room and drop their suitcases and Tucker off. Thankfully, the motel was dog-friendly.

Jon had ended up falling back asleep in the truck. He slept through each one of the rest stops, excluding the one in which he used the bathroom. Evan had to wake him up yet again hours later when they pulled into the hotel parking lot. He cut the ignition after shaking Jon's shoulder, his soft chocolate eyes gazing questioningly at Jon.  "What should I call you?" He asked.

When Jon gave him a dazed, groggy look, he elaborated a bit more. "I can't go around calling you Jon. If our fans catch us, they'll know it's you just by your name."  

Jon rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "I dunno. I guess you can call me by middle name: Lee."  

"Jonathan Lee? That's an extremely generic name."  

"Better than the mouthful of Jonathan Alexander-Michael my parents were originally gonna name me."  

"Oh, god," Evan said, stifling laughter.

  "What about you? What's your middle name?" Jon inquired.  

"It's Andrew."  

"Oh, look who's talking about simple names now, motherfucker."  

Evan just shot him a glare. "Just get out of the car and start grabbing our bags."

  |||••••••••••••••••••••|||

As soon as they got to the doors of the convention, Evan could feel the anticipation rolling off Jon. The shorter man was practically bouncing up and down as if he were a rubber ball.

“Excited much?”

“You kidding me? I'm more excited than a kid on Christmas! This is my first gaming convention,” he pointed out the last part as if Evan hadn't already known.

“I take it you're glad you came?”

Jon didn't get the chance to answer. He was completely blown away by the utter vastness of the convention. Evan would never be able to forget the look of wonder stretched across his face.

They were able to wander around for a good half hour before they started running into fans. Each one that approached Evan inquired about Jonathan, to which Evan would respond with the same answer.

“This is an old friend of mine, Lee. He's just visiting for the week.” None questioned it; they were all the more oblivious that the one and only ‘Delirious’ was right under their precious little noses.

Some even asked him to be in their pictures. Of course, he didn't find out why until a group of shameless fangirls came up to Evan giggling and openly commenting on how hot his friend was. Jonathan couldn't help but be pretty embarrassed. The adorable blush that spread across his freckled cheeks just made the girls swoon even more.

The first day at PAX passed expeditiously. As night drew near, they had covered a lot of ground. However, there was still quite a lot of stations that they hadn't yet visited. Jonathan was absolutely wiped from all the walking and excitement.

The day wasn't over yet. As they were walking out of the doors to walk back to the motel, Jonathan remembered a very important thing.

He had to go to a little get-together still on the outskirts of town. With all of his friends. Most of whom he hadn't even met yet.

Jonathan slowed his gait, tugging on Evan’s bicep to get his attention. Chocolate brown eyes studied his own. “Evan, I don't know if I can do this.”

“You mean the party? Jon, I already told you that it'll be alright. You saw how Daithi, Craig, and Adam acted.”

“I know, but it's not just going to be a few people. Everyone is going to be there.”

“Jon, they'll love you. They won't care about how you look or anything like that- which I promise you, you look beyond fine- but they already know the real you. They know who you are on the inside. I promise you I'll be by your side the entire time. Besides, we still have an hour to kill before the party. That'll give you plenty of time to calm your nerves.”

Jonathan gave him a tentative half-smile. “If you say so.”

“I know so.”

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||

As Evan and Jonathan finally pulled up to the nice suburban house that Craig, Brian, Brock, and Luke were staying at, Jonathan gave Evan one last nervous look. In turn, Evan sent him a reassuring grin. The two exited his truck and took the short trek up to the rental home.

To Jonathan, the walk felt like an eternity. He was counting away the seconds to his inevitable demise. His anxiety was beginning to flare up, and it was making him feel sick to his stomach. He swiftly flipped up his hood before shoving his hands in his jean pockets. His eyes remained firmly glued to the cement sidewalk, a habit he’d always had. He tried to slow the quick pace of his heart while simultaneously trying to keep the oxygen from evacuating his lungs.

He was snapped out of his trance when someone pushed back his hood. His eyes lifted to meet Evan’s. “Just breathe, okay? Here, let’s stop for a moment. They don't know we’re here yet.” It was then that he noticed that they'd arrived at the bottom of the house steps. Jon took a seat wordlessly, Evan mirroring his move.

The two sat in silence for while Jonathan took the time to compose himself. He sat slumped over, elbows on his knees and head bowed. The only thing they could hear was the calming night breeze, the rustle of tree leaves, and the hum of car tires on a nearby road.

“I’m sorry.”

Jonathan looked at Evan with confusion. “For what?”

Evan continued to look out across the lawn, presumably gazing at the city lights in the distance. “For forcing you into this.”

“No, you're right. I'm kinda being a pussy about this. I need to just man up and face my fears.”

Evan turned his head to look at him. Jonathan was immediately struck by how hauntingly beautiful his eyes looked in the dark with only the faint light from the city shining upon them. They were tinted a brilliant amber and seemed to flicker and dance like the way a flame from a lighter licks at at the air. They were so intense, yet the emotion that lay underneath seemed to tame them. Jonathan had to stop the surprise from crossing his face.

He recognized that emotion. He'd only ever seen it in the eyes of one person: his mother. Not even any of his exes or his all-but-blood brother Luke had had that look. It was an emotion he hadn't seen anyone look at him with in years.

It was affection. Pure, loving, unconditional affection.

“You’re not as weak as you think you are, Jon.” His voice was low and husky. Damn, was it _sexy_. “You’re so strong for trying to overcome your fear.”

Jonathan felt his heart flutter and his cheeks heat up. He looked up away quickly, a bashful smile gracing his features. “Thanks, Ev.” His own voice was barely a whisper. He looked back when he saw Evan start to stand. He took the hand offered in front of him and was promptly dragged to his feet.

“You ready to go in?” Evan slung an arm across Jonathan’s shoulders.

“Yeah.” He stated confidently. “I'm ready.” As long as he had Evan by his side, he’d be ready for anything the world threw at him right now.

They ascended the last two steps, and Evan gave Jonathan one last glance before ringing the doorbell. There was a bit of a pause before the door swung open. Luke stood in the doorway, a smug grin spreading across his face. He pulled Jonathan into a tight hug. “Long time no see, fucker.”

“Shut the fuck up and let us inside.” Jonathan smiled brightly at how crude they were to each other. Ever since they’d known each other, they’d swear up a storm at one another, but in a friendly kind of way. It was their way of showing they cared for each other.

Luke stood aside to let them in. He gave Evan a friendly clap on the shoulder as he walked in, closing the door in their wake. “How's your stay been?” His focus turned back to Jonathan.

“Amazing.” Jonathan replied. His stay at Evan’s really had been amazing. “I'll tell you about it later.”

“You better, or I'm gonna hound you about it.” He motioned towards a wide doorway where laughter could be heard from inside. “Everyone’s in the living room. I’ll be there in a second. I gotta take a piss.” He continued up the stairs that was just to the left of the door and out of sight.

Jonathan turned to Evan with the same goofy smile still on his face. “C’mon, let’s go meet the others.”


	8. The Big Bang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus sorry this took so long. I've been dealing with a ton of personal shit that has left me emotionally compromised. But I've managed to pull it back together so here you go.

As soon as Evan and Jonathan set foot in the living room, Jonathan began to feel his nervousness resurface, weighing him down like a rock in his stomach.

His friends were crowded around the center of the living room; a total of thirteen guys, all sitting on the floor, couches, or leaning against furniture. Open beer and soda cans sat on every flat surface available. Half-eaten bags of chips lay propped up against furniture and on the floor. A partially forgotten game of Cards Against Humanity was set up on the coffee table, the cards scattered about or clutched in calloused hands. The TV displayed an ongoing game of four-person Mario Kart Wii.

The first one to catch sight of them was Anthony. He choked on the beer he'd previously been drinking, a small amount dribbling down his chin. His eyes widened almost comically. This action didn't go unnoticed. One by one, heads began turning, until all thirteen pairs of eyes were on him. All previous chatter ceased, all games had been paused.

Jonathan was fairly sure he'd never felt so insecure in his life.

Craig stood up from his position on the couch, a controller clattering from his lap to the ground. A grin broke out on his face. “You _motherfucker_. You actually made it.”

Jonathan gave a nervous laugh, rubbing his arm awkwardly. “Yeah, I guess I did.” He responded quietly; however, in the silence of the room, his words echoed quite loudly. If they didn't recognize him then, they'd surely recognize him now just by his voice.

“Well c’mon, join the party!” Craig grinned at him. He waved him over with one arm. “There's plenty of snacks and alcohol!”

Just like that, the energy was back in the room.

“I call first to play one-on-one against Delirious!”

“Holy shit, he’s fucking hot.”

“Pay up, Tyler! You owe me twenty bucks!”

“This is unreal.”

“Goddamnit, Marcel, I don't owe you shit!”

“I thought he'd be taller.”

“I fockin’ ship it!”

“His eyes are so blue!”

Jonathan felt his anxiety sap away. He shared a brief look with Evan and immediately knew that everything was going to be okay.

|||••••••••••••••••••••|||  
When everyone was finally distracted and their attention turned away from him, Jon slipped out of the room for some desperately needed fresh air. He made his way upstairs and came to a window at the very top. Sliding it open, he climbed out and onto the roof.

He sat there undisturbed for a good five minutes, just breathing and looking out across the suburbs, before he was interrupted. It was a bit startling when someone climbed out of the window practically right next to him. Watching with a careful eye, Jon didn’t said a word as the person took out a cigarette and lit it. The light emanating from the flame illuminated the person’s face, and Jon immediately identified the person as Brock. The man breathed in the smoke, his eyes fluttering in bliss.

It wasn't until Brock opened his eyes again upon exhale that he finally noticed Jon. “Oh. Hey.” He took the few extra steps to sit next to Jon on the roof. “What are you doing outside? You should be hanging out with the guys or something. They're all super excited that you're here.”

Jon sighed. The dreaded question had been asked. “I know, I just needed a breather. Don't get me wrong, the guys are absolutely amazing, but they don't know when to back off.”

Brock smiled warmly. “Yeah. I got what you mean.”

“By the way, I didn't know that you smoked?” Jon raised an eyebrow. “I gotta say; I'm pretty surprised.”

Brock laughed lightly. “Old habit. I picked back up on it. Please don't tell the others, though. If it somehow got back to Lauren, she'd _kill_ me. I'm not exactly proud of it, either.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.” Jon bit his lip, eyeing the cigarette as Brock put it between his lips, taking a long drag. “If you spare a stick.” He added.

Brock turned to look at him with a questioning look. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I used to smoke too.” Jon could imagine the cigarette between his ring finger and his middle finger; could remember the smooth cotton feel of it between his chapped lips. It was all muscle memory to him. “It was the only thing that calmed down my anxiety. I quit once I started taking my pills.”

“You're not on them anymore, right? It's really not safe to be taking prescription pills if you’re a smoker.” Ah, Brock. Ever the moral one.

“No, no.” Jon shook his head. “I've been off for two years now.” Yeah, he remembered the day he flushed them all down the toilet. He always hated how... sedated they made him feel.

“You sure you want to start back up again? I don't mean to sound like a hypocrite or anything, but, y’know. I'm just looking out for you, man.”

“Thanks Moo, but I'm alright, really. I've been craving a cig for a while now. Luke doesn't let me.”

Brock took the pack back out of his jacket, slipping a Marlboro out of the cartridge. He handed it to Jon along with a neon lighter. “Mother hen of the year.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Jon huffed dryly. “Don't get me wrong, I love Luke like a brother, but he can be too overbearing at times.” He placed the cigarette between his lips, flicking the lighter to life. He lit the end of the stick with one hand, the other shielding the weak flame from the breeze.

Brock hummed in agreement. A silence lingered over the two. It wasn't awkward; in fact, it was quite comfortable. It was just the two of them there, underneath the orange-tinted sky, blowing puffs of smoke into the cool air and enjoying each other’s calming company.

“Why the fuck are we on the roof anyway?” Jon asked randomly and laughed aloud. “There's a nice porch pretty much right beneath us, and a backyard on the other side.”

“Too predictable.” Brock responded. “At least here it’ll take them longer to find us.” He shot Jon another warm smile and raised up his cigarette like he was making a toast. “Means more time for us to get lung cancer.”

Another silence dragged on between the two.

“Y’know, I _really_ can't believe you smoke. You. Out of _all_ the guys.”

“Well if it's any consolation, I think I'm the best off. I'm pretty sure Craig is on meth, Scotty and Anthony do heroine, Daithi’s their dealer, and Brian’s definitely a sex addict.” Jon sat there contemplating for a minute before the two burst out laughing.

When their chuckles died away, it was Brock’s turn to keep the conversation flowing. “Can I ask you something? It might be kind of personal and I completely understand if you don't want to answer.”

“Nah, shoot.”

“What’s your relationship with Evan?”

Jon was utterly off-put by the question. He moved the cigarette away from his lips, surprise sparking in his eyes. “What?”

“You two are close. Like, _really_ close. Even when it was just you two talking through a _screen_ , you were inseparable.”

Jon knew what Brock was insinuating. He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “I don't know.” He answered truthfully. “He used to be a really great friend. Hell, he was my _best_ friend, but when we met in person it just… it all changed.” He frowned when he realized how negative he made it sound.

“How so?” Brock pressed.

“Promise you won't tell?”

“Hey, you're keeping my secret.” Brock simply shrugged. “The least I can do is keep yours.”

Jon bit his lip in thought. “Well, it's really weird and hard to explain.” He turned his head to look Brock right in the eyes. “I think he _likes_ me.”

“And does this scare you?” Brock’s voice was calm and unassuming. He almost sounded like a therapist. Jon would have laughed had the situation been not as serious.

Jon pursed his lips. “No. It doesn't.” He looked back away to the city off in the distance. “I don’t mind it. I just never really had anyone look at me that way before. Sure, some people showed interest in me- both men and women- but it wasn't real attraction. They just thought of me as fuckable.” He could feel Brock’s eyes studying his face, from his tightly-sealed lips to his furrowed eyebrows.

“You like him back, don't you?” Brock concluded. His tone was soft and kind, his words confident and knowing. Jon sighed deeply, allowing Brock to continue on. “Then what’s stopping you?”

“Fear.” Jon whispered. “I’m not scared of him loving me, not by a long shot. I'm just afraid that I'm wrong, that he doesn't _actually_ like me in that way, that I'll ruin our friendship. I'm afraid of rejection. Of fucking up.” He stared down at the cigarette still stuck firmly between his fingers. “I've been through a lifetime of rejection already.”

“Well, you have absolutely nothing to fear. He _is_ into you.” Brock paused for a minuscule moment before adding on to his part of the conversation. “He was pretty terrified too.”

Jon shot him a tedious sideways glance. “You talked to him about it?”

“Actually, he called _me_. He was pretty lost. He told me he’d never felt like this about anyone, especially not a guy. Damn, was he _scared_. But the thing that terrified him the most?” Brock left a slight pause for Jonathan to think about and process his words. “You. He was scared that he would drive you away; scared that he would lose you.”

Jon pulled his legs up to his chest, hand falling over his heart to feel the erratic beat. “Never.” He whispered to the wind. “I don't think I could ever live without him.”

Brock grinned knowingly. “Then go get him, tiger.”

Jon abruptly stood up, the cigarette falling from his hand and rolling down the paneled roof. He scrambled back through the window and raced down the steps without hesitation. He slipped back into the living room, which was too full of life to even notice his appearance. He walked swiftly and with purpose until he was by Evan’s side, and hooked him by the arm.

Evan looked at him in confusion. “Everything alright Jon?” Concern laced itself into his tone.

Jon just wordlessly dragged him away from the busy room. They found themselves in the kitchen, positioned away from all the noise and all the hectic commotion. They were alone. And it was there that Jon took his chance.

He stopped abruptly and pivoted on his heels, turning to face Evan. His piercing eyes locked onto Evan’s deep brown ones. He took a step closer. He wasn’t sure his heart had ever pounded so fast in his life. It was then that he seized Evan by the front of his shirt, and roughly pulled him down into a kiss, his eyes fluttering shut as their lips met each other. Evan didn't hesitate to return the tender moment.

It was a simple clash of lips and teeth. It was awkward; Jon had to crane his neck up to compensate for the fact that he was almost an entire head shorter than Evan. It was sweet and meaningful; both men were pouring all of their love and emotions into that kiss. It was desperate; their lips working in sync, hungry for the taste of the other. It was bliss, sending them both high up into the clouds without a care of when they’d come down. It was realistic; Evan tasted like chapped skin and cheap beer, but that was perfectly fine. He probably tasted like an ashtray.

When Jon finally broke the kiss, they were both red-faced and nearly gasping for air. He kept his eyes closed to savor the moment, breathing in Evan’s scent in their close proximity. The moment felt too surreal. He felt almost as if he were dreaming. His lips tingled from where Evan had touched him, his nose filled with the smell of Evan’s cologne, and his ears rang slightly.

An empty bottled clattering to the ground snapped them both out of their stupor. They turned their heads to the doorway to see Tyler standing there, his icy eyes wide with shock. His jaw was lax, his mouth dropped open. Suddenly a giant grin broke out on his face and he turned back around swiftly. “Marcel!” He called back into the living room. “You owe me my money back, you fuck!”

Jonathan let out a groan, his head thumping into Evan’s chest in defeat. He felt the familiar tremor of a humored huff emanating from deep within the other’s trachea. Solid arms slid around his back; he suddenly found himself encircled in Evan’s embrace. “They're never gonna leave us alone now.” He grumbled in complaint.

On just the other side of the room, Jonathan could hear the influx in activity. Whoops and cheers rang clear throughout the house.

“I knew this would happen someday!”

“The ship has sailed!”

“Fuck you, Tyler!”

“H2OVanoss is real! The dream lives on!”

“I _made_ this ship ye focks! I deserve s’me fockin’ _credit_!”

Jonathan felt Evan’s chin come to rest on top of his head. The taller man’s chest heaved slowly with a deep, content sigh. “We’ll worry about them later.” Evan said at last. “Right now, it's just you and me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to my beta <3

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive criticism? Feel free to comment exactly how you felt about this chapter! :) Just please, no haters. This is a hate-free zone and nobody likes people who cramp their styles.


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